I remember not long after we were married, a Home for Good speaker came to our church. The message he shared was inspiring, and it touched my heart – I’d wanted to adopt for as long as I could remember. But it didn’t feel like the right time for us yet, as we were thinking about having birth children before adopting.

Three birth children later, and we went to a few initial adoption meetings and information sessions, where we were told that we should wait until our birth children were a little bit older – we know now is pretty common. So, we had to wait for a while.

But when our youngest had reached the age recommended to us, I remembered that speaker at church all those years ago, and decided to call Home for Good. I spoke to a really helpful member of the team, and after some conversation with them they referred us on to Adoption Matters, who they work closely with, and that got the ball rolling.

Home for Good talk about the whole Church having a part to play in showing welcome and care to children and teenagers who have been in care, and our church have been a really brilliant source of support to us. When we began the process, we shared it with our church family, and we had members of our church praying for us at every step of the way. We had people in our church give references for us. We had members of the church come along to the ceremony when our little girl legally became a member of our family.

Our daughter had lots of different people involved in her early life, so it was really important for us to form a strong attachment and bond with her. She didn’t know that not everybody was her safe person, she needed to learn that we were the grown-ups who were always going to be there for her, who she could trust.

But she was such a friendly little girl, and in church in particular would just run around giving hugs, or sitting on peoples’ knees. At first, lots of people thought this was lovely. Of course, if a cute little toddler comes up and wants to play or sit in your lap, you feel flattered! But they didn’t know that this was a sign that she didn’t know who was her 'safe' grown-up.

We were able to have a conversation with our church family, particularly with those in our close circle, and say, “Listen, we know you’re excited about her. We know you want to show her love. But when she comes to sit on your knee or hug you, we’d really appreciate it if you didn’t pick her up. We’re trying to connect with her, and she needs to learn that we are mum and dad.” It wasn’t the easiest conversation to have, but they understood and were so supportive. They waited for our cues, and now our little one is totally part of our church family and has strong bonds with us, but also healthy relationships with others.

We went to Festival Manchester as a family in 2022. We were walking through the field, there were people everywhere. Through the crowd, we spotted someone in a Home for Good t-shirt.

We said hello, and had a conversation, and my wife and kids took a photo with their big Home for Good sign. It felt like a full-circle moment. Way back before we had any children, we met Home for Good and were inspired as they shared about God’s heart for family. Home for Good were our first point of contact when we were ready to begin our adoption journey. And now here was my family, cuddled together inside a Home for Good picture frame, our little girl in the middle of our family picture.